Happy Anniversary- Table for One Please

This is the weekend of our wedding anniversary; the first one since my beloved husband Scott passed away 3 months ago. I’ve had another big milestone day- Mother’s day this month. I wanted to write about celebrating (or not )these milestone days during grieving- for me, as I grieve for both my mother and my husband. No I have not reserved a Table for One to celebrate the anniversary. Hey nothing wrong in dining out alone; I’ve just never done it. I am blessed to have a lot of close family and good friends who happily give me company when I want to dine out. When I say- Table for One, it is also a portrayal of my state of mind; so yes both literally and figuratively.

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Mommy

Dearest Mommy,

Happy Mother’s Day. This is the first Mother’s day without you. It’s almost been 8 months since you passed. I miss you so dearly today and everyday. Last year Mother’s Day, I was walking along the beach, and you and I were Skyping – talking, laughing, and watching the sunrise together, and we went for a morning walk, as was our tradition, anytime I went to the beach. It has been a hard day, although I do practice grieving from a place of joy. I know you are nowhere physically, but lot of times, and more often now, I do feel the warmth, and deep joy as though you are everywhere. Mostly in nature when I’m looking at the passing clouds, or the swaying trees in the wind, or the rain, or the night stars or even how the sunlight comes through the windows in the kitchen, when I’m looking out the window drinking tea. Other times when I look at your picture I have over the fire mantle, I feel a deep sense of calm, and comfort; only thing I can compare to, is as maybe finding a tree shade and getting to drink the coldest water when one has been walking in the heat for hours. That kind of comfort.

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Grieving from a place of Joy – Part 1

We all grieve differently and there is no one right or wrong way to grieve. It had been about 3 weeks since my husband Scott passed away, and about 5 months since my mom passed away. I woke up one morning and said to myself- I want to grieve from a place of Joy, and not sadness. It just came to me as though God had put this thought in my head. But what does that even mean? It almost sounds catchy or something new age. Then I took a couple of days to ponder over it and it will continue on. Thus far for me, this is what grieving from a place of Joy means, and I have been practicing it. Below is roughly what I shared with our family who are all grieving in their own way:

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